“Like ocean waves, we emerge from nothing then accumulate mass before the inevitable crash on the shore, only to shrink back and disappear into memory, making room for the next one.”
- Ross Mackintosh, Seeds
In 2004 I lost my wife of 8 years. She was alive one day and the next she was gone. Death is devastating, and yet somehow it doesn’t seem to loom over us as one would imagine. I don’t spend my days waiting for the inevitable, I never have and I’m sure that I never will, but in the presence of death the world changed for me, and for awhile I changed with it. In retrospect, I view that period of my life thorough a hazy lens. In fact, I believe I see it more clearly through the eyes of others than in my own confined memories. Ross Macintosh’s book Seeds wanders through that realm for me. His images and feelings are relatable and resonant. While my own experience was more sudden, the emotions are seasoned with a similar flavor.
Seeds is an autobiographical story by Ross Mackintosh. It follows him and his family through the days of his father’s life following a diagnosis of lung cancer. As a professional graphic artist Ross chose to tell this story in graphic novel format. The illustrations give substance to the characters and help us identify with them in a way that may otherwise be impossible. The artwork has an organic quality, flowing from page to page in an effortless yet relentless forward motion. You know that these days with his father are numbered, but life moves on no matter how vehemently you wish for it to slow down or stop. Ross’s artwork is simple without being simplistic. It feels like you’re sitting with a great artist and he’s pouring out his soul, scribbling these images down with a black ink pen onto the backs of business cards and white paper napkins. Each page, each panel, and each picture packs an emotional punch words could never reproduce.
Ross allows us access to these last days of his father’s life, unblinking. We are privy to the sadness, regret, and recognition of all the missed opportunities. How often do we say I love you to those whom we love? I couldn’t help but ask myself that question. It’s been a long while since my wife’s death and still I wonder if I did everything I could to ensure she knew my feelings. After reading Seeds I wondered about Ross’s regrets. He mentions them more than once in the dialogue. In the end he says “words I’d not said before came tumbling out” as he whispers “I love you” to his father. Expressing love is an easy thing to do, but even now I have moments when I act like an ass to the people I care for. Life is short and our time is indeterminate, it’s incredible how easily that is forgotten.
In the book’s introduction Ross mentions that the story is not about death, it’s about his dad. Seeds is a sort of memorial to a man that Ross loved deeply, and for us I think it is a wakeup call. There is nothing blatantly original here, nothing surprising, or unsettling; Instead we are confronted with honesty and truth. Our lives are short. There are ups and downs, happy and sad moments, each infused with both miracles and tragedies. When all is said and done the worst thing to have is regret. This book is about life. I read it and then immediately lavish my children with hugs and kisses. It makes me call my parents and close friends to let them know I care. The words “I love you” come more easily, and Seeds can take some credit for that also. It’s a life affirming tale, and I highly recommend giving it a read.
To learn more about Ross Macintosh and his beautiful graphic novel Seeds please visit his blog: seedscomic.blogspot.com
Com.X Publishing; $10.99; B&W; Soft Cover: ISBN: 9780983223801
Shawn Swanson - 6 years of professional blogging, including writing and editing for www.raaarr.com and content writing at www.wishihadthat.com.
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